• Hank Melluish

The 10 Best 80s Albums by One Hit Wonders

One of my most charming qualities is my musical elitism. You know what I mean. The way people act when they don’t like someone’s music and mistakes that opinion for fact? That’s me! It wasn’t always this way, but somewhere along the line I just got fed up with hearing the same shit all of the time. The nature of pop-radio, it seems, is to shove a song down your throat and then ditch it like a pencil with a dry eraser. Like remember Iggy Azalea? Yeah. She’s a private contractor now. You don’t even know if I’m kidding, is the wild thing! And I know you won’t look it up because you don’t care! Nobody cares! We all just heard the song a thousand times!

And I talk this trash like my taste backs it up. It doesn’t. Really. I don’t listen to Neil Young, Dr Dre, Sleater Kinney or Kasey Musgraves. The music I back is typically forgotten or underground greats, but in my defense... someone’s gotta do it! I have my head planted firmly up the ass of the 70’s punk movement, the 90’s Britpop scene, the Paisley Underground, “sophistipop” greats… and all the while I believe--in my heart of hearts--that this was the real shit. You know what I mean? I also believe that the 80s was the best decade in musical history. Yeah. That 80s. The most ridiculed decade in music history until the 90s.

I love the fake synthy beats, the finding-its-feet singularity of the New Wave, and just the unmistakable air of fun found in seemingly all of the music at the time, even in slower ballads.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: “I love 80s music too! Don’t Stop Believing, right?!”

Stop it.

No one has ever listened to a Journey album. You like the hits is what you like! Now, what if I told you that nine times out of ten--well, maybe seven--the albums put out by the big one-hit-wonders of the 80s were full of songs just as good, and in most cases better than their singles. I kid you not. Your parents lied to you as did mine. I have nothing to gain from going to you about this. If you’re a fan of 80s music in any capacity, you absolutely owe it to yourself to check these out if you’re able. And this isn’t the well-trod Talking Heads, Tears for Fears, Talk Talk, Pet Shop Boys territory, either! These are albums no one talks about! And it kills me! Anyway, yeah. Let’s get into it.